Holidays on Ice er en fantastisk samling av seks historier om julehøytiden. Den mest kjente er The Santaland Diaries, der Sedaris forteller i hysterisk morsom detalj om sine erfaringer som en alv på Macys Santaland i New York.
Standing in a two-hour line makes people worry that they're not living
in a democratic nation.
This morning, I worked as an exit elf, telling people in a loud voice, `This way out of Santaland.’ A woman was standing at one of the cash registers paying for her pictures while her son lay beneath her, kicking and heaving, having a tantrum. The woman said, `Riley, if you don’t start behaving yourself, Santa’s not going to bring you any of those toys you asked for.’ The child said, `He is, too, going to bring me toys, liar. He already told me.’ The woman grabbed my arm and said, `You there, elf, tell Riley here that if he doesn’t start behaving immediately, then Santa’s going to change his mind and bring him coal for Christmas.’ I said that Santa changed his policy and no longer traffics in coal. Instead, if you’re bad, he comes to your house and steals things. I told Riley that if he didn’t behave himself, Santa was going to take away his TV and all his electrical appliances and leave him in the dark. The woman got a worried look on her face and said, `All right. That’s enough.’ I said, `He’s going to take your car and your furniture and all of your towels and blankets and leave you with nothing.’ The mother said, `No, that’s enough, really.’
We were standing near the Lollipop Forest when we realized that Santa is an anagram of Satan... Overhearing the customers we would substitute the Satan for the world Santa.
This morning, I worked as an exit elf, telling people in a loud voice, `This way out of Santaland.’ A woman was standing at one of the cash registers paying for her pictures while her son lay beneath her, kicking and heaving, having a tantrum. The woman said, `Riley, if you don’t start behaving yourself, Santa’s not going to bring you any of those toys you asked for.’ The child said, `He is, too, going to bring me toys, liar. He already told me.’ The woman grabbed my arm and said, `You there, elf, tell Riley here that if he doesn’t start behaving immediately, then Santa’s going to change his mind and bring him coal for Christmas.’ I said that Santa changed his policy and no longer traffics in coal. Instead, if you’re bad, he comes to your house and steals things. I told Riley that if he didn’t behave himself, Santa was going to take away his TV and all his electrical appliances and leave him in the dark. The woman got a worried look on her face and said, `All right. That’s enough.’ I said, `He’s going to take your car and your furniture and all of your towels and blankets and leave you with nothing.’ The mother said, `No, that’s enough, really.’
We were standing near the Lollipop Forest when we realized that Santa is an anagram of Satan... Overhearing the customers we would substitute the Satan for the world Santa.
Historiene er noe inkonsekvent hva kvalitet angår,det som er bra er veldig bra, det som er dårlig er ganske dårlig. Jeg vil sansynligvis lese et par av de beste historiene om igjen neste jul. Terningkast 3.
Boken ble lest på engelsk.